May You Know Peace
by TheAngelofFate
Summary: "Peace was never an option." Those were words that Erik has lived by his entire life. He knows that he will never know what it truly is like to be happy, not fully. After the mistakes he's made over the years why would he ever know such a comfort? But in the wake of jean becoming Phoenix, Erik decides that this is his second chance, to be a better man. (No Slash Please R&R)


So having watched the new Dark Phoenix trailer and gushing about all the awesomeness that it was. I just had to write a small fic about. Note that this is my predictions for what I think is going to happen/might happen/stuff I think would either be sad or cool to happen in the movie.

They are in no way canon or anything.

* * *

He always thought that if there were people going to show up in Genosha, it eventually would either be the humans with guns, or it would be Charles. In these last ten years Erik always kept his guard up knowing that one day someone would come to his sanctuary. Even if the humans were leaving him alone, he was still cautious, still alert for whatever made itself known. So that's why it came as such a shock to him when Jean had come to him instead, Erik was astonished to see her, remembering her instantly. With her red hair and blue eyes, but this time she wore a troubled expression on her face, Erik knew that she was one of Charles' student. The very one that was able to defeat Apocalypse with a shock wave of fiery energy. Erik remembered the force of her power, recalled out it shook the ground and heated almost everything up with it's fire.

She came to him, wanting answers, seeking help from him. And who was Erik to ever turn down refuge from one of his own kind. So Erik ushered into one of the recently built cottages for some of the older mutants he had in his care and sat her down. He left her for merely a few moments to get them both something to eat, as he did with all the children he saved. Giving her a slice of bread and a helping of stew. Jean took it gratefully, and Erik watched her in curiosity. She may have wanted some type of answers to various questions she had but so did he, why was she here of all places and why wasn't she with Charles?

"The Professor is the reason I left." Jean said suddenly, taking a bite out of the bread, her eyes not even leaving her plate. Right, a telepath, like Charles was. He had almost forgotten, on impulse his hand twitched towards the metal helmet he kept locked in a box. But resisted the urge, no he was better then that. Taking a seat in front of the girl he looked her in the eyes.

"Why are you here, Jean?"

Jean didn't answer right away, and Erik watched her take a few spoonfuls of broth before she finally looked back up at him. "The Professor... lied to me. Kept something from me." Jean's voice when she said with held a touch of anger, of flatness that Erik remembers all too well, for he held that same tone with Schmidt. "He put up mental blockades in my mind so that I wouldn't remember that I caused a car crash that killed my parents."

Erik heard the words come out of Jean's mouth, understood the words even, But he couldn't comprehend them in the slightest. Because none of what Jean had described sounded like Charles at all. Charles just wasn't that type of person, never has been. "Are you sure?" He asked slowly, because this explanation sounded so farfetched.

Jean nodded and gave him a look, as she stood up from her seat. "I overheard him telling Raven that he did it to suppress my power, suppress the dark force growing inside my mind."

Again, that didn't sound like Charles. Not the Charles he remembered. Charles was always helping mutants, showing them how to control their powers, to embrace them. Not lock them and memories away in a series of mental shields. But it has been a long time since he's seen Charles face to face. Had his friend changed that much after ten years? But something nagged at Erik. If Jean already knew the answers on her past. Then why was she here? Then it dawned on him. "You didn't come here looking for answers. You know them already. And you don't want my help, either." Erik said as he got up from his chair and looked at her, as she down casted her eyes. "You came here looking for permission."

Jean raised her head then and Erik stood there frozen as he saw her eyes changed from vibrant blue to a bright, orange with just a touch of red mixed in, the color of fire.

 _Oh_ _Scheiße_

* * *

Erik came to the conclusion that he will never have a chance at happiness. Oh he's felt it, basked in it grace. His mother, Magda and Nina, Genosha. But it always ends the same way, him alone and in such agony. But this time the destruction of his life wasn't caused by humans, no it was caused by one of his own kind. When Jean had come to him she failed to mention that she had previously had lost control of her powers, and attacked her hometown, had killed various police officers in the process. So when she arrived here, she brought the government with her, having tracked her down to Genosha to take her out and that indirectly caused Erik to lose all that he had built in the last ten years. For the government arrested him, at a time where he was too badly injured to flee and took him away.

Thankfully he was not in his holding cell very long before Raven's son —something she made him swear to never repeat and take to his grave— teleported in and outside the compound a few miles away.

There, he saw Charles students, he saw Hank, Raven and the rest of Charles' children.

"Erik." He heard a voice state in acknowledgement. A voice that sounded regretful, ashamed and one that Erik knew all too well. He looked down and saw Charles, sitting in his wheelchair, his expression grim. "Hello, old friend."

Erik stared at Charles for a good two minutes battling with himself if he should be happy to see his friend or be absolutely pissed at him. Evidently the latter won, for he strolled over towards the telepath and punched him straight in the jaw. Charles would have fallen out of his chair and on to the ground if it hadn't been for Hank steadying him.

"Erik!" Raven chided him with a deep scowl but Erik was past the point of caring.

"What did you do!?" Erik's voice held anger, held contempt as he looked at Charles, feeling true anger towards his friend for the first time. "Charles, what did you do to Jean?"

Charles gripped his jaw, groaning at the discomfort it caused before he looked up back at Erik. Charles said nothing as he stared at him and Erik knew that he was reading his thoughts. So Erik opened his thoughts and memories at its fully capacity and let Charles see the destruction his little student had caused, all the pain and suffering to the people he had been protecting and had grown to care for in the last ten years. He let Charles see it all, and his old friend cringed at the sight of it.

"She told you." Was Charles only statement as he wiped a few tears from his eyes, as the memory of his conversation with Jean bubbled to the surface of his memories, the one about her parents and how Charles had lied to her and possibly altered the memory.

"She told me." Erik confirmed, with a nod. "And of all the things I thought your powers were capable of, Charles, _that_ wasn't one of them."

"I was trying to protect her, to help her. Like I've done for you and Raven, my friend."

Erik let out a hollow laugh. and pointed towards the prison he was just in, pointed towards the direction of Genosha that was miles away a crossed the ocean and projected that memory to Charles, all the fire and dead bodies he saw. Causing more tears to fall down Charles face, looking ashamed. Good. "That is what your protection caused. By blocking her memory, by blocking her power instead of trying to find a way to help her control it, you only succeed in making anything worse."

Now it was Charles turn to get angry. "You have _no_ idea the sheer force of power she possesses. She was beyond the past the point of controlling it when she defeated Apocalypse. I had _no_ choice but to encase it."

For the first time in his life, Erik felt such disappointment in his friend, and he never thought that was possible. This was coming from the man who always had hope for everyone, who believe there was always a better path. "The Charles I know would never had allowed that, he would have found another way, let her embrace it. Taught her that there is a point between rage and serenity, taught her that she controls the power and not the other way around, like he once taught me."

The anger on Charles' face disappeared within a second at those words. Now the telepath looked defeated,

Erik sighed, shaking his head, "If she's as powerful as you say, Charles, if we really can't stop her, then there really is only one option."

Charles tilted his head in question, then his eyes widened. "Erik..."

"Someone has to make the tough call here, Charles, since it's obvious you won't. Someone has to pay for the unjustified slaughter of hundreds of mutants."

Charles was now shaking his head, and to his left he saw that Scott was beyond scared at his suggestion of killing Jean. "Erik, my friend. I'm sorry I didn't stop this sooner. But right now we need to focus on the matter at hand. Right now we all need to work together to help Jean, to bring her back home."

A scoff escaped his lips, "You're always sorry, Charles. And there's always a speech to go with those apologies." Erik reached down into the ground, into the dirt and pulled the metal within it and twirled it in his hand. "And nobody cares."

The two old friends stared at one another for a few moments, a battle of wits and their own ideals at war with one another, before Charles looked away and asked for the teleporter to take them home.

And Erik watched them leave before he leaned against a tree and cried what he lost for the third time.

Hours later, he found himself back at his compound, back in Genosha, and once again he dawned his helmet, not to keep Charles out but he knew that if he was going to take Jean on that he needed to keep her out of his head.

* * *

Raven was dead.

Erik had no idea how Hank found him and the followers that managed to escape Genosha's slaughter, but the moment he did, Hank uttered the words Erik never thought he'd hear. "Jean killed Raven." Erik had to close his eyes as a rush of pain engulfed his heart, it was a different kind of pain, one that was similar to when he had lost Magda. Erik would never deny that his relationship with Raven changed after they left Cuba back in 1962. They were infatuated with one another, always together, always standing up and protecting their brothers and sister from the humans out in the world, they were the ultimate duo. Erik loved Raven, oh yes, he loved her. Spending those first few years with Raven made Erik realized why Raven had once meant so much to Charles.

Even afterwards, after Washington, after he met his sweet Magda and had Nina, Erik still loved Raven, because she had been his first love when he thought he'd never have one, given who he was and how he viewed the world. He vaguely registered Hank asking for permission to be on his team, asking to help take Jean down by any means, he did remember faintly nodding his head. Later it would dawn on why why Hank had decided to join him and ultimately abandon Charles. Because while Erik and Raven had a relationship after Cuba, it was clear as day that Hank never stopped loving her either.

Once Toad showed Hank to where he would be staying, Erik took a moment for himself, took a moment to remember Raven and everything about her, and he grieved for her, just like with his wife and daughter.

Hours later, Hank came to him, his expression still grief stricken over the loss of Raven, but there was something else Erik saw in that expression. "What is it?" He asked downing another glass of whiskey, trying to drown his sorrows.

Hank seemed to hesitate for a moment or two, opening his mouth before shutting it a second later. "You..." He watched as Hank tightly clinched his hands. "You remember Peter, right?"

Erik blinked the haze out of his eyes. Peter? That was the mutant that could run really fast right? The one that broke him out of the pentagon and who brought Raven to him, to try and talk him down from helping Apocalypse. "Yes, why?" He answered the question with a question.

Hank's body language seem to changed now he was more awkward then how he had been previously. "He... died, along with... with Raven."

Is that so? Tragic, he seemed like a good kid.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Beast." The loss of a friend was never easy, but he didn't understand why Hank was telling him this. "But I don't understand why..."

But suddenly Hank was interrupting him, "Before he... Before he died, he wanted you to know that..."

Erik was starting to get confused. "Hank?"

Hank took a breathe, for a moment he was silent. "Peter was your son."

And it was as though the ground underneath his feet opened up and swallowed him whole. He felt nauseated, he felt like the shock of this reveal was going to make him pass out as his vision swam and he felt uncomfortably dizzy. "W-What?" He stuttered, breathlessly. "H-How?"

"It was... it was years ago with a woman named Marya?"

Erik let out a noise that was between a scoff and cry. _Yes, Marya,_ he remembered her. He had met her while he was on a recon mission, in her area he was trying to get intel on a possible base that were harboring mutants. He remember that he had gotten injured during that time and she had found him as he was trying to escape, she was a human and yet she took it upon herself to nurse him back to health. And Erik found himself wanting her, because she was so beautiful, and she had an attitude that reminded him of Raven. For the next couple days, they spend so much time together, while he healed from his injuries, he left in the middle of the night without a sound.

He wanted to say that he did it because he didn't want her to be apart of his cause, he wanted to say that he left to protect her from all that chaos it would bring. He wanted to say all that, but he didn't, he just left. Not to say leaving her hadn't hurt him, but his cause for mutant kind was just too important in that moment.

Thinking on it now, he realized that yes, of course, Marya had a child, in those moments together, they hadn't been careful after all. Peter was his son, and never said anything.

 _"I.. I'm your— I'm here for my family too."_

 _Scheiße, he tried to tell me then. He tried but never did._

And now he was dead, like Nina and Magda. He lost another child, again.

Blindly, Erik stood up from the chair he had been sitting at, he left Hank and stumbled over to the wall, he leaned against it, his breathing ragged and hitched. And he cried again for what felt like the hundredth time, cried for the son he never got to know, just like with Nina.

* * *

Erik has lost so much in his life that he is long past the point of caring what happens to him. During his life, his heart had slowly started to hollow out with each loss he suffered. His parents, The Brotherhood, Banshee, Magda and Nina, Raven and now Peter. All those losses and all that pain made him no longer care about his own well being.

Which is why when they all eventually teamed up to take Jean was down, when Jean was suddenly on the verge of killing Charles. Raising him up and out of his chair and had him suspended in the air, Erik wasted absolutely no time in sprinting forward, his feet carrying him forward towards Jean. Because of all their faults, all the times they argued about their ideals, all the times they've been against one another, no matter what they were still friends. And Erik refused to let anything happen to Charles, not when there was something he could do about it. Using all his force and strength he had, Erik knocked Jean to the ground, using his powers while she was down he attempted to encase her inside a steal ball of metal. His eyes burned with revenge as he looked at this girl and felt all the pain and emotions she had caused with her loss of control. Genosha, Raven and _Peter_.

This was all _**her**_ fault, so why shouldn't she die? But then, her head rose from the ground and Erik saw something other then the pure evilness in those fiery eyes, in a second a flash of blue appeared in those irises, and Jean— the real Jean, the one that was just as tormented as he had been, seemed to beg with him, plead with him. And Erik hesitated, only for a few seconds, but it was enough for Jean's powers to erupt in a shock wave of fire from her body, causing the metal he had around her to explode in shards, freeing her from her prison and a few of them going straight into Erik.

It was as though time had halted altogether, the pain had been intense. So much more then anything he could have imagined. It was a white hot _agony_ , it erupted within his chest and abdomen as the metal, scorched from the Phoenix blast sank into Erik's flesh easily. Erik stood there for a moment, frozen from the shock of it all. But as quickly as it had come, it was gone in a moment. Then time seemed to resume as Erik fell to the ground with a gasp.

And the destruction resumed around him

As he lay there in the dirt, he realized with great certainty, that he was dying. He wasn't making a guess based on the pain. _No_ , he was dying, Jean had made sure of that. Made sure that when her powers blasted away his metal, it hit every major artery it could. The more Erik breathed, the more he could feel his blood pooling in his lungs. Already his vision was failing him, his breathing was slowing, his hearing cut in and out, only getting bits and pieces of the chaos going on around him.

Then abruptly the fog seemed to clear, the haze within his mind disappeared, Erik squinted his eyes open and saw Charles and Storm kneeling over him, looking frantic. Erik blinked several times, it was as though seeing them was something he couldn't comprehend.

They were— protecting him?

Why?

 _Because your injured, my friend._ A gentle voice spoke within his mind.

"Cha—!" He tried to speak, tried to use his voice, but all that came out was a ragged cough filled with blood.

 _Erik, don't talk, save your strength._ Charles said to him and Erik felt him and storm adjust him, moving him and Erik cried out in pain at the action. Erik cringed and attempted to pull out the shards, anything to get rid of the discomfort he felt. But he felt a hand grab his wrist, preventing him from but Erik could control metal, so he just used that instead. The minute he did so, he felt lighter whereas before he felt heavy, his mind felt softer.

Maybe that had to do with the blood loss.

So this is what dying felt like.

 _You're not going to die, Erik._ Charles stated to him, but Erik has known Charles for years now and he can tell when his friend doesn't believe in something. He saw it on the plane as they were heading to Paris to stop Raven from killing Trask, saw it back in Cuba when Charles said they wanted different things when it comes to humanity. And now Erik saw it, as Charles stared at him, his face pinged with worry he was trying to hide.

Erik's body spasmed as another pain jolted through him. Slowly, he reached forward and gripped Charles wrist. "I didn't kill her." Erik said loudly, despite it being hard to form words, Erik did his damnedest to make that point as clear as day. "Charles, I _didn't_ kill her." And it was true, he didn't kill Jean. He was going to but he stopped himself. Because wasn't that just him? No matter how easy it was to burn against Charles beliefs, no matter how easy it was to kill and give into his anger, it was just as easy to stop, to show mercy and be good.

 _I know, Erik._ Charles thought to him, confirmed what he already knew.

 _Scheiße, Charles. What have you done to me? Before I met you and Raven killing had been easy and now— I looked in her eyes and I hesitated, I saw a frightened girl terrified of her powers and I couldn't do it. Why couldn't I do it!?_

A hand touched his shoulder, steadying him to reality as his mind faded in and out. _It's called empathy, Erik. You saw that Jean was still in there somewhere, you showed mercy._

Anger rose within his heart because he even he hadn't killed Jean, he was still mourning the loss of what she had done. Raven and _oh Gott_... _**Peter**_ , his son. But he couldn't kill her, knowing that she was still so young and that half the reason why she did all those things was because of the power inside her, a power that has a mind all its own. So he hesitated and now he was dying. He was dying with a clear conscience, knowing that the last thing he did was save his best friend.

 _Oh, my friend. Why? After what I did, what I caused Jean to do. Dying would have been my redemption, my punishment._

 _You're..._ Blood dropped from the corner of his mouth as he tried to think properly. _You're more important to the world then me, Charles. All I've done is cause destruction and fear._ As he said this, he watched those tears from before spill down Charles face. His friend was on the verge of breaking and Erik felt sad, because he knew there was nothing he could do to prevent it.

 _I have already lost Raven, Erik. Don't you dare die on me too._ Charles' voice turned angry but the anger wasn't directed towards him. Charles was angry at himself, because everything that's happening was all his fault.

Erik gave his friend a weak smile. "You can't s-save me this time, Charles."

Charles bowed his head, and Erik heard a noise that sounded like a sob escape him. _This is all my fault, I'm sorry, Erik. I'm so sorry._

 _You're always sorry, brother._ He chuckled lightly, which turned into a coughing fit. _But I'm sorry too. For everything I've done, for becoming like Shaw._

 _Erik, you are nothing like Shaw. I told you that there is good in you. Shaw wouldn't have let Jean live, Shaw wouldn't have save me. You did, my friend._ Charles shifted on the ground adjusting Erik in his hold, and Erik found himself leaning his head against the croaking of Charles' arm. No longer having the strength to lift his head.

 _Still won't give up on me, Professor?_

 _I never will, Erik._

Erik laughed tiredly, his eyes dropped a little. He could feel himself falling, feel his mind getting lighter as everything around blurred. But he forced himself to stay, only long enough for him voice what he was thinking. _Thank you, Charles. For all you did for me. For showing me that there was more to me then just anger and pain. For giving me what I never had; hope. Thank you for becoming my best friend._

This time Charles didn't bother to hide the choked sob that escaped him. Vaguely, Erik felt Charles embrace him and Erik wished that he had enough strength in his arms to return it, but he couldn't. "Erik. Erik, _no_. Losing Raven... and now _you_ , I can't, please." Charles looked to be on the brink of a mental breakdown. But right now they couldn't have that, not while they were in a battle with Jean, not when she was still out of control and ready to destroy the world.

Now it was his turn to guide Charles. "I'm sorry, Charles. This—This isn't fair, I know that, b-but you have to stop Jean. You're the only one who can."

 _Erik..._

It was getting hard for Erik to distinguish reality from the blurry shapes and visions he was seeing. But he had to hold on just a little while longer, even if his voice was now gone, swiped away with the blood clogging his throat.

 _All I wanted was in my life was to fight for our kind, protect them and love them because it was something I never got as a child. I wanted to give them a home, I wanted to live in peace and now... now I have it. My parents, Nina, Raven, Magda, Peter, now I get to join them._ Slowly Erik had just enough strength to lift his arm and blindly grab Charles arm and gave it a reassuring squeeze, needing Charles to listen, really listen to him. _You helped me see all that, brother. Thank you._

Then Erik blinked once

Twice

And a white light appeared then, dispelling all the pain away. It seemed to wrap Erik up in a warm embrace as it lifted him up and carried him away. Amongst the clouds he saw his family. Peter, Raven standing there with smiles on their faces. Magda there, waving at him along with Nina smiling at him, his little girl was cheering, clapping her hands.

And _oh_ , his parents.

His _**mother**_ , the very one he did this for, the very one Schmidt murdered right in front of him. When he reached them, Erik all but ran to his mother, hugging her and crying as though he were a child again. It wasn't long before Erik felt himself being enveloped in a group hug.

For the first time since losing Nina and Magda, Erik Lehnsherr has finally felt true peace. He only wished Charles was here to complete the circle. But Erik knew it wasn't right now, not for a long, long time at least.

But when that day did come, Erik was going to be there for his brother, welcome him with open arms and a smile. Just like all the other times Charles has been there for him.

* * *

In the months that followed, Charles was able to get through to Jean and together they were able to banish the dark power within her —which she had dubbed Dark Phoenix— and together they were able to work night and day, work months on end until she was finally able to control her power. Where she no longer feared herself or fear for others around her.

Charles was glad that he was finally able to rectify the mistake he made, of only just a little. A mistake that cost him so much. Raven, Erik, Peter. Various other mutants in Genosha. They were all dead because of him.

His friends, his family paid the price for his mistake.

When the pain became too much, Charles found himself most days, outside, sitting by their graves for hours on end. Looking at their graves, tears falling down his face. As he muttered apology after apology.

 _Raven Erik Peter_

 _A sister A brother A friend_

 _A leader A hero A comrade_

 _Family_

On top their decretive tombstones, Charles place items there for each of them.

For Peter, his goggles, something that he had always been fond of, his sister Wanda having bought them for him.

For Raven, a dozen bouquet of Blue Orchids, because those were her favorite flower. Orchids that will be changed every time the previous ones wilt from the climate changes. Because if they remain alive then so does his sister.

And for Erik, it took a little longer for Charles to find something that represented Erik. And then one day he found himself in his study and came a crossed the chess board he had once played with Erik, back in 1962. Back when they had all had formed a bond when they all became family.

The chess board held so many memories for Charles. Not only did it hold both his and Erik's love of chess but it also held their conversation, both the good and the bad. It also held a peice of their friendship.

As he stared at the graves, Charles clinched the chess piece in his hand before placing it on Erik's tombstone.

Instantly, tears cascading down his face as the memories of losing them rushed back to him;

 _Raven sacrificing herself in an attempt to stop Phoenix's destruction._

 _Peter rushing to grab her and then went back to Jean, also attempting to stop her, but this time out of anger. Something he most likely got from his father._

 _And Erik, who had done the unthinkable and joined them, who sacrifice himself to save Charles. Thanking Charles for always being there, for giving him a friend. Before he too left him alone._

He still remember their faces, their expressions before and after they died. Charles remembered hugging his friend for the first time since they met all those years ago. He had already lost Raven and Peter, losing Erik as well was just too much to bare.

 _God_ , he missed them. He didn't know how he was going to go on teaching these children without them. Knowing that for all the company he has, he's still relatively alone.

But as much as everything hurt, Charles knew that he had to go on their the children under his care. He had to makes Logan's Future that he saw a reality even if that meant Raven, Erik and Peter wouldn't be there to see it with him.

"I miss you all." He stated, the tears still falling. But he would move forward for them. He owed them that must to live and do the best he could for their kind.

Then he looked directly at Erik's grave. As a statement of Erik's popped into his head;

 _"Peace was never an option."_ Erik had uttered those words back when he firmly believed that he would never know that feeling, the feeling of contentment and joy. And despite how much Charles missed his dear friend, he was happy to have hope that wherever Erik was now, through all his suffering and mistakes, he finally got what he wanted, he finally knows peace.

* * *

Like I said this isn't meant to be taken as what actually happens or what is going to happen in the Dark Phoenix movie. This is just my own interpretation of what I think would be cool/sad to see and what I personally think may or may not happen. Now will I think that all three characters will die. Heck no, it's most likely going to be Raven. But I thought the idea of all three of them dying was an interesting concept.

This is also heavily Erik centered because I just love the guy. And I really didn't want to kill him off but I felt like the guy had been through so much suffering and pain that he deserves a moment of peace. Hell, he deserves every moment of peacefulness. To be happy and with his family. Even if he had to die to get there.

Anyone, thoughts? Just so I know that I didn't waste my time writing this? Please leave them in a review, they are always welcomed and appreciated to the fullest and I will be seeing you all soon .


End file.
